Thank all of you  for the good wishes, virtual hugs, virtual gifts, promises of fic, etc, today.  It really helped.  I did want to make a note about the virtual gifts.  You all decked me out nicely. From ferneberga, I  got a bright and cheery sunshine to walk under, from hinky_hippo, I got a lovely tinfoil hat to wear, and from josgotglock, I got a yummy chocolate cupcake.  Very nice.  :D 

I've been very  tired today. Part of it is the rain, I think, and part of it is that I didn't sleep at  all last night and only got like four hours today. So, sleepy.  However, since R is gone, I didn't  have a lot to do today.  So, a nice sleepy day was  okay.  :D

Okay, kiddos, here's how this works: comment on this post, asking for seven questions to answer, and I'll ask them to you.  Then, you post this in your own journal along with the answers.  ferneberga asked me my seven, so ( here you go: )

Myth

We reach backward into the mists of time,

Scouring the histories for things we only vaguely recognize

With our hands shaped from our looks back,

We peer hesitantly at the world around us.

Nothing makes sense alone.

Too many sights, sounds, smells, touches,

Everything tastes the same

Nothing to compare.

Shaped by history, mystery, trickery and time,

We stride forward,

The happy, imaginative

Children of myth.

I'm missing you in the chat room, so here is my article on Trillian. I saved a hard copy. I'll append with a web server thing for those of you who don't want to use it, or can't. 
( Trillian: How does it work?  )

Hey, guys and gals, for those of you who wanted another A/N chat, I've been trying to set one up. I wanted to have one this week, but the room seems to be down (X is aware of it and has her friend looking into it, I think). So, I got to thinking.  Would any or all of you like to do a typed chat via skype instead? 
My reasons:
Most of us have Teh Skype anyway. 
We have options on skype that we don't on IRC.   (vice versa is also true, but those are more sparkle than substance, I think.)
I want to have this chat, and am worried about the current reliability of the room. 
We can go back to IRC any time.
Voice is an option, though I'm not sure for a chat like this. Plus, y'know, transcripts. 

I think that's most of them. The chat I wanted to host would be on 'characters', and pulling them out of the plastic, or, more clearly, how far from canon do you stray?  Other general character development could be discussed as well. 

So, having said all that, whaddya think?

So, catwalksalone put this up on  her LJ, and I thought, why not?  Here is the generator, should  you chose to get creative yourself: Pony creator!!

( aaand, here is mah pony: )

I was reading a story, and thinking about how many times a day R and I say "I love you."  It's like twenty each, or something. Maybe more. Every time we talk, we each say it at least once. Usually lots more though.  

I had a friend who insisted that if you said "I love you" too many times, it could lose its meaning and become just these words you say.   Thing is, it hasn't done that.  Partially because well, it's been ten years, and it just is part of how "things are done."  The other part, though is that there isn't just one, flat, bland "I love you." 

There are tones.  And the kids have picked up on a couple of them.  There's the "I've done something idiotic, but I don't want you to get mad 'I love you',"  there's the "I'm having a sucky day and I wish you could make it go away, 'I love you',"  the corresponding "Oh, I wish I could make it all better, 'I love you'," etc.   So, they're not all the same.  Sometimes, yes, the words mean something MORE.  But they've never meant something ELSE.  

[/sap]

R and I have dealt with two divergent companies this week with two completely opposite results. 

The first is a car part company called Quality Auto Parts in Chicago, IL

The second is the LEGO Company. 

I talked to Martin at QAP last week, ordering a part, reminding him that we needed it as soon as he could get it to us.  R can't drive the car without this part currently, so he can't come home without it, can't drive between the hotel and his work location... Anyway, time is of the essence, and I paid $30 extra to get faster shipping.  He said it would still take three to five days to get here. Okay. That was supposed to be today.  The man calls my husband today and says, "We have discovered that this part does not work.  We will confirm we can find another and send it to you." 

My burning question is this: Why are we hearing about this part that we were supposed to be GETTING today instead of hearing about it say... Friday?  I get that they have to test it. But if they're GUARANTEEING, and  yes, they did use that word, that the part would be in our hands at a certain date, then calling us on that date to say, "OHAI.  PARTZ IS BAD, I CAN HAZ FIVE MOAR DAYZ, PLZ?" is not good. Not at all.  

Second case:  R picked up a box of LEGO to occupy his time in the hotel since he didn't come home this weekend.   It was probably a bargain box and probably only a few bucks.  Alright.  Whatever.  So, he opens the box, and it's got the completely wrong set inside. 

So, he calls the company.  They put both him and Will on their magazine list free of charge, he gets a book of coupons and stuff, and on top of that, he got an email sent out that said, "OHAI, SORRY FOR ERRORZ."  (I'm grumpy enough that LOLspeak is intruding into my brain. Using the "Intentionally be weird to cheer yourself up" tactic). 

Night and day, folks.  Night and day. 

my eyes are made of water
and my blood is made of water
do you cry to see me fumbling through
this ocean of an obstacle?
you, the bridge builder
you, who walks on water
do you cry to see me swimming in my
deep, deep wells?
my bones are made from dust
and my flesh is made from dust
do you wonder how I get so far away
from simple trust?
my pulse is born of rhythm
and my cycles turn in rhythm
is it sad that seasons change and I'm
still green?
I cry water, pray for your living water
wash my earth stained fingers
though we see things as through a glass--
this is as clear as it gets here
though we see things as through a glass--
this is as clear as it gets here

-- Crywater Prayer (Madison Greene)


It's been a hella rough week. And probably will be another rough one this week.  Just in time for my birthday, yes, precious.  

Easter was ... pretty good.  It was hard to spend that service watching the kids.  We hid Easter Eggs and had fun, but it wasn't ... the High and Holy my heart was wishing for. If we're in a better place next year, and I'm still doing the nursery, I may go to the Vigil by myself and then I'll be all ready to "serve" during Easter service.  

R wasn't feeling well, so he stayed home Monday.  I liked having him home, but I didn't like him being sick. Ugh.  Then, on the way to where he was going Mon night, he hit a deer.  Car was fine, he was fine, but the hood, driver's side headlight and side panel are toast.  So, we're working on fixing that.  Positive thing about that is that we have some money saved up to take care of that.

The downside of him staying home Monday is that he did not come home this weekend. I have gotten so used to having him here on weekends that it was extremely rough. I used to be able to go for a long time while he was on the road for like six weeks at a time. But I also had MIL with me to take me places, get me out of the house a lot... Not this time. I have a friend who got me out of the house to go to the bank, and church, and then again this next Friday to the bank, but otherwise... that's it.  

It's starting to wear on me. I realize that it's a temporary thing and that I can call or skype or chat or whatever ... several of my friends, but several others haven't been as available for whatever reason.  I don't blame them, but it's a factor in how I'm feeling.  

I'm feeling exhausted.  Partially from not being able to sleep very well, and partially just because ... there are several other little stupid things going on, like girl stuff, allergies, weather shifting migraines, etc that are all just sapping my strength. 

I know.  TMI.  But it's where I am right now.  So tired, but, yeah.  

my eyes are made of water....

Remembering when
Food and clothes and time and community
Were apportioned out by a welcomed Hand:

When we understood that tomorrow meant maybe
Yesterday meant memory
Stacked against another in a neat little pile near the river
Today was enough.

Remembering when
We were uncertainly sure of the gift we'd been given
But lived on it wholly like Mana from Heaven.

Now, we search for the treasures
In the desert of plenty,
Stack our rare mana away and eat the fruit of the tree
And complain when the mana of the day
Has gone rotten again

Now, tomorrow means promise, though patently empty
Yesterday means dearth soon forgotten
The rocks kicked aside in our search for more.

Today is scrabbling, reaching, pulling winding, pushing, calling, dreading, forcing, working –
Never giving an inch to the memories trying to call us back
To the simplicity of merely accepting
The Gift from the Ever-Giving Hand.

Juan Williams' interview on The O'Reilly Factor 

His Wikipedia Article

I understand that it may not have been the smartest thing to say, but I don't think it was worth him losing his job at NPR for. He may not fit there well anymore, though. Maybe he has been hanging out with us conservatives too long.  That's okay, in my book.

His comment that caused the issue was this: 

    Political correctness can lead to some kind of paralysis where you don't address reality. I mean, look Bill [O'Reilly], I'm not a bigot, you know the kind of books I've written on the civil rights movement in this country, but when I get on a plane, I got to tell you, if I see people who are in Muslim garb and I think, you know, they are identifying themselves first and foremost as Muslims, I get worried. I get nervous. Now, I remember also that when the Times Square bomber was at court, I think this was just last week. He said the war with Muslims, America's war is just beginning, first drop of blood. I don't think there's any way to get away from these facts. But I think there are people who want to somehow remind us all as President Bush did after 9/11, it's not a war against Islam. -- quoted from the wikipedia article.

It's October.  So, it's only a month after 'Patriot Day.'  That's the day we set aside to remember the victims and those who helped on 9/11. After that fateful day, we have a tendency to be very worried at certain things, especially in airplanes (even ten years later).  Especially when there have been incidents like that Times Square Bomber that he mentions. 

He's an historian.  He's a journalist.  He remembers.  To him, it wasn't words on a page or a short 90-second video played over and over.  He was probably involved in writing about it, researching things, walking through the area when he was allowed.  He's allowed his nightmares thinking about what he saw.  Humans process things this way.   Even ten years on, a huge, pivotal event like that can remain in your mind, influencing how people do things.   Soldiers from WWII still have difficulties communicating to some Japanese, German, and Italian citizens.  It's a smaller version of that.  

Also, for most of the interview, he was making the point that there are Muslims who are not intent on terror. That was his main point. That most of Islam is not that way.  My own personal feelings and understandings of the nature of Islam aside, it's a good point. There are so many levels of understanding and devotion to their religion that you cannot say "all Muslims are ..."  You can say "Islam teaches that..." Or, you can say, "I have seen in practice," but the first one is basically like saying, because you've seen a very strict Baptist church, "All christians do ... this." (Perhaps require their women to wear long skirts, or something.) No, no they don't.   As I have stated several times to my friends, I've been a member of (or attended for longer than a month) most of the different kinds of protestant churches who ascribe to the Apostle's Creed (or the tenets thereof).   I have found a lot of differences, even in churches of the same denomination.   But, there are a few things that have stayed the same.   It's the same in Islam, but one of those things is not the destruction of their enemies by their own hand.  

My point is that people cannot have things both ways.  You cannot send someone like Juan to report on a life-changing event, and expect them not to be changed. You cannot have an historian write about a set of circumstances, do the research and such, and not remember it.  That's what historians do.  Let's not penalize someone for doing his job in the first place, and remembering (oftentimes, remembering for us, since we can't be bothered to do so ourselves). 

He could have worded that better to make his point, but he has an opinion, and he expressed it. He's allowed. It's America.  If NPR had the same standards in the 60s, I think the Civil Rights movement would have been seriously hampered. It was people who saw things and made personal comments that made that work. His heart, his words clearly show later in the interview. He's saying not everyone is like this, even if you still remember, don't judge all of them.

So, for that alone, "I'm with Juan." 

So.  I've been thinking about this a lot since I've been increasing the amount of replying and commenting I do on my social networking services lately.  

There has been a lot of discussion about how we're all selfish, self-serving and insensitve since we use social media services to interact with each other.  That we take more random pictures and post them online than we might otherwise.  I will grant that point, but I don't think the other follows.  I think talking about oneself is the only alternative when we've developed a society where each person has such a strong right to their own information.  We are often afraid of backlash if we mention another in a post or picture (With good reason, sometimes, but the result is still the same). 

True, Twitter has helped everyone -- well, those who weren't already doing so via text messages -- to summarize their lives in 140 characters or less.  However, I was learning to do that for our generation roughly ten years ago.  I was told that if I couldn't get the information from one person to another in the time it took for me to chat in an elevator at work or a store, then I needed to seriously work on my presentation.   I was also told that in our day and age, if I were to make a presentation, I needed to have one overarching theme, and that I needed to come back to it, illustrate it, come back to it, demonstrate it, come back to it, explain it, etc.  That the historical three-point outline wouldn't work anymore. 

So, this leaves me feeling a bit... "Damned if I do, and damned if I don't."  If I don't present things in a short, burst-like fashion, then no one will listen.  If I do, I'm labeled selfish, self-serving and insensitive. We cannot have it both ways. 

It's been said over and over again that the important factor in anything like this, especially if you have a point to prove, is content.   Ok. I'll buy that.   However, if everyone's too busy saying "tl;dr", then content won't matter a whit. 

This wasn't where I was going to go with this at all, but it seems like a valid point nonetheless.  I was going to say more about my own experiences, and that for me, there is no separation of streams.  Perhaps, that's not the smartest thing, but it's what I've chosen.   If I've posted it one place, chances are, I've linked to it all over.  However, I can understand the theory.  That there is a 'twitter stream', an 'LJ Stream' a  'Facebook Stream', etc.    And there are different spheres of people reading each one.  I get that. 

I just have a tendency to put them all into the same place, becasue I don't really have a separation between, say, work friends, church friends, family friends.  You're all my friends. Some of you I game with, yes, but since I have no life, when that is a big portion of my day, the other people in my life will probably hear about it as well.  For me, it also limits oversharing.  If I don't want all  my friends to hear what I'm saying, I don't say it on a public forum, but keep it to pages, game channels (with specific people on them) or private chats.  Or emails or FB messages, instead of Wall posts.  There are ways to  have a private conversation, and it's best to use the specific tools available for that. 

Another thing I've been thinking about is that the people I've 'talked' the most to are those who are active on my pages.  It stands to reason that if I want to interact with someone, I will more easily do so with someone who's got several posts right in front of me than with someone who doesn't, and I have to do a search for their name to comment on their stuff.  It's not hard  by any stretch of the imagination, but being a member of this generation, even just scrolled off the page can be 'out of sight, out of mind.'  That's not to say I don't think about those who are on my list and lurk more, but they don't get as much thought time, so I'm less likely to respond.   I know that's fairly harsh, but it's the honest truth. 

So, to sum up, if that was tl;dr, then here goes. 

Tho we appear selfish, we are not necessarily being so.  Respect the streams if that's requested.  Squeaky wheels still get more grease.  

http://hpfandom.net/eff/viewstory.php?sid=28854&i=7


One of my favorite books, a good character in it said it best in my eyes.

"It's a great series, by a guy called Spider. Anyways, in the book, Mike, a bartender says, 'I must have missed something: if a guy has truly absolute power, then what could you possibly corrupt him with? Acton got it backward: what engenders corruption is paranoia, the perception of inadequate power. Absolute power renders you completely immune to corruption.'

This is interesting.   It's from a fanfic, yes, but it's very good food for thought. And it has relation to a lot of things.  It's character, not what you've got that determines things. But I think what Acton was referring to is that humans can never have absolute power.  Even if they have all the power the world has to offer, there's always the chance that someone random will kill them in a freak car accident, or poison his tea or something odd like that.  Humans are always vulnerable.  The more power you have, the more you see that, because you may have noticed those along the way who became vulnerable. Either through your efforts, or those of supporters, or just the fickle hand of fate.  

Absolute power renders you completely immune to corruption.  That's a mouthful.  If you cannot be killed, cannot be overcome, cannot be threatened in any way, shape, or form, where do you have to go?  You can't go further up, nor can you go down. You are static in a way. 

Hmmmmm.    

Will started school again, and we're still having issues with transportation.  Praying folks... you know the drill.  He's so far ahead of what would be his grade that if he went back to the standard ISD school, he'd be a holy terror out of boredom. (Been there, done that.)  However, at this point, he's still very interested in learning and life, so ... I'm good with it. 

Anna has decided to show what I've dubbed her 'Coleman side.'  She's decided that the decibel level in our lives needed to be raised much higher. So, she yells rather indiscriminately.  I don't know what happened to my quiet little girl. It's okay though.  It's adorable in its own way.  She also has started to expose a quirky sense of humor that is more like my own, so I find myself laughing so hard I can't breathe at times.  Cute kid. 

We started going to the local Episcopal church, though we haven't gone many Sundays in a row yet (due to sickness, husband who hurts, me hurting, etc), but it's wonderful.  I love the Book of Common Prayer, I love Form 2 service, and I love our vicar.  He's pretty cool. He's more of a Pastor than a Preacher, if you know what I mean, but I think that's what we need now, in these days post-flashburn. Again. 

Really hoping R can get a different job, for several reasons. Firstly, he's in pain most of the time he's driving, because of the accident a couple years ago.  Secondly, the whole 'drive the kid to school' thing.  Thirdly, his boss is ... well, let's just say his luck is holding when it comes to those in authority over him in the workplace.  Meaning his bad luck.  

I've been spending a lot of my online time on my friend's MU*, and helping her. I love it, cuz, frankly I love her dearly and a lot of the people I'm playing with are good folks.  We're ironing out a few wrinkles here and there, but eh. It's all good. 

This is really basic. I'm hoping to get back into writing more, and maybe do a couple more motherbrain segments, but don't hold your breath. 

So, I decided to start a series of sorts, called "MotherBrain".  It'll give an acerbic look into my view of parenting, gaming and politics.  That's a lot of room, but I want to give myself enough space. I may narrow it down (or catagorize it) later. Also, those topics tend to overlap.   Besides, I don't know how often I'll be posting.  

                                                                                   MOTHERBRAIN




When I talk about Fanboys and Fangirls, I'm not talking basic fans.  I think that's pretty much a given.  I'm talking about the Twilight chick on Youtube, or the guy in Foxtrot.   The other thing about fanboys/girls is that we've all either been one, or even still are.  And it's usually just one topic per person (in the case of a fangirl, that's one topic at a time), though that's not hard and fast either. 

I think there are some serious differences between fanboys and fangirls. 

How do I spot a fangirl?

Fangirls gush:  Face it, ladies.  When we find something we really really really like, it's like opening a floodgate.  Like a frickin' waterfall.  Barrels and barrels of information just ... gush out of our mouths.  If we're with another fangirl, then you get the second sign.

Fangirls squee:  When we get together, we squeal, or, as it's affectionately been labeled on the internet, we squee.  I've even seen / used that particular phrase. 

Often, Fangirls are fickle:  What was the favorite today may not be as cherished next week. I am guilty of this. 


What about a fanboy?

Fanboys are a bit different.  They are easily spotted.  Usually, that entails some sort of clothing, body decoration, or other accoutrement.  Take, for instance, a sports fanboy.  This isn't the guy who pays for season tickets and cheers on his team.  This is the guy who pays for season tickets, gets a tattoo to remind him where to color the paint when he gets there, sits in the front row, beats on things and screams like a banshee when every player comes out.  This is the guy who has his backpack, his room, his hair and possibly other portions of himself in a single color (or perhaps two) to honor "the team." 

Sci-fi fanboys are the ones like the comic up there.  Regular LARPers are kind of cool.  Sometimes.  But when you get the guy who LARPS the same character every time because "he's the most awesome thing evar11!!one" (which is about as close as fanboys get to gushing, usually) and you have to listen to his tales of movies, comics and things that all hail his hero...yeah. 

There are fine lines. 

However, the worst kind of fan in my opinion is the sheeple.  This is the individual who picks up a fandom just because her friends all watched it, and she wants to stay cool..  Everybody in the office watches Office, so you watch it just to be able to follow along, but don't enjoy it, or it's not something scintillating.  We've all done this, but some people base their entire human interaction on stuff like this. 

The other thing that can get really offensive really quickly is when fanboys and fangirls get insulting.  No need to clarify that. Old news. 

The ones we pick on and notice and talk about are the ones who are either very vocal or very specific about their likes or dislikes.  Or both.  Most usually both.  Take the crazy youtube girl.  She's a very strong Twilight fan.  So she's found a bully pulpit and isn't afraid to use it.  On the one hand, that takes some courage and knowledge of her particular subject.  On the other hand -- it's not exactly rocket science, and she can get mean. 

So, while you gush or deck yourself out (or both or neither), remember that everybody does it.  Just, to quote Wil Wheaton, "Don't be a dick." 

So, there is much happening in the world for me.  Firstly, I'm expecting a new computer any day now.  :D It was supposed to be here today, but it didn't make it. Instead of sending it directly to me, FedEx sent it to a hub, which happened to be the other direction.  Silly FedEx. I just hope it doesn't come while we're on our mini-vacation.

Yes. Mini-vacation.  We're going to Albuquerque again this weekend, and going to go to the zoo, the aquarium and a couple museums while we're there. We don't really have a reason, except that we had a great time as a family the last time we went, and the kids absolutely loved it. We're not doing the cold and tiring train ride to Santa Fe this time around, but there is a "children's museum" in ABQ that looks to be just what we need.  Yay!

One other thing that I've done is that I've started a business venture.  I just started it. Meaning it's very new.  I found out about it through a customer of R's who sells it.  What is it, you ask?  Well, I'd love to tell you. [/cheese].  Actually, it's a pretty cool idea, and it originates in Idaho, which makes it doubly cool in my mind.  Scentsy is a wickless candle system which uses "warmers" with light bulbs, and a very easy system with scent bricks.  Just break a couple of pieces off the brick and put it in the warmer, and voila! No smoke, no hot fire to burn small folks (and with a 25 w light bulb it doesn't get so super hot that you worry too much), and some very, very nice scents.  Those of you who know me well know that I'm picky about how things smell. I hate the smell of coffee or gasoline, or anything like that. So, for there to be a system that has scents I can stand but still make the whole house smell great.... well, y'know.  And, when you're done with the scent, you can pour the wax back into the container and use it again later.  Anyway, if you want to know more about it, you can look directly at the website at http://thecookiemomma.scentsy.us .  There's all sorts of information and things there. If you want to just keep up with what they've got (because it changes on a regular basis), you can sign up for the newsletter. I think it's monthly.  And, if you decide you want something, you can buy it there, or call or email me (my info's all right there).  I love it. 

Folks who pray, keep my big sister in your prayers. I can't go into a whole lot of it, but it's an extremely difficult situation, and our hands are tied. We're worried about her. We love her dearly, and are praying specifically for health and peace for her and her family. 

Speaking of praying, we started attending a new church at the end of last month. We haven't been able to go regularly with sick family and other things, but when we do go, it's pretty neat.  It's the Episcopal church, and we like it a lot so far. True, we've only been a couple of times, but it's a smaller church, and I think it has good potential. I'm going into it this time not having the expectations I had before (which is rather sad, but necessary, unfortunately), and I'm not going to get super involved with things unless there is room for us. All of us. 

The kids are doing well. Anna is making me laugh on a daily basis.  William is excelling at school and still likes it for the most part.  Anna still is at home with me, as she didn't qualify for the local preschool (which is a mixed blessing, I think. It means she has no developmental delays, but also means she doesn't get to go to school at the same age her brother did.  Different set of circumstances). 

I won a book in a contest on http://www.dad-blogs.com .  Joe Schatz, who goes by  @joeprah on  twitter,  wrote a hilarious book called Daddy, Where's Your Vagina?  It's about him staying at home with his three daughters in  a very "stay-at-home-mom" oriented world. It's a great read, so if you want a book that's about being a dad that's quirky, a little bit irreverent, but yet gives some really good advice, then give it a shot.  I think it's like $12 or so on Amazon.  

Anyway, that's an update from me. Lots going on, yet it's good times.  I stopped posting my twitter to my LJ for a while because I was using it to join a few Twitter chats, and I thought it might get overloaded. I might put it back, or just try to remember to post longer things more often.