The bright corner

Motherbrain: The problems with plot-based RP versus character-based RP

Sat, 11 May 2013 11:19:38 GMT

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I have seen two very divergent styles of role play in my text-based RPGs. One of them is driven by plot, the other driven by strong characters. I prefer the latter. I also write character-driven stories. The reasons I do so are myriad. However, today, I'm thinking about collaborative writing, especially as shown in RP.

Firstly, plot-based role play can lead to very fluid personalities and limited understanding of how a character will react. If the plot drives the story, the players have to stick to the plots, even if the character would not do things that way. It can lead to recreation of characters' personalities on the fly, confusing everyone. People can change, it is true, but it is usually through life experiences, conflict, or deep meditation that they make big changes. For a character to be bright and happy one day and dark and upset the next is unrealistic*, unless we learn the reason behind the change.

Secondly, plot-based role play is extremely restrictive. If a player does not have a clear 'starring role' or a hand in creating and tweaking the plot, she has no space to allow her character to grow, or to affect the world around her. Often, the ability to change the world is a reason for a player to come into the game in the first place. She wants to be able to control the situation her characters are in. Creating a character and playing it in the world is work, but it is a creative effort – one that is intended to help the player find a communal experience, and for everyone's mutual enjoyment. If everyone is not involved in making the plots and situations happen, it is no longer enjoyable, and players will find reasons not to log on. One of the greatest joys of a text RP for many players is the element of discovery. With a preplanned, pre-staged plot, that joy is completely eliminated. Even if the plot writers keep the end details a secret until later, enough will probably trickle down for most players to figure it out. It becomes less like a character in a world, and more like an actor on a stage. There is a clear difference: scripts.

Thirdly, conflict can happen in unexpected ways in a character-based story, creating richer, fuller histories that the player can allow her character to work through. By setting up the setting first, the character second and the plot (maybe) third, the player is able to allow her character to react to situations in the way that seems appropriate to her at the time. This may not – probably will not – match up with perceived notions of how that character should act, perhaps even those of the player. After a time of playing the role, the responses will come almost immediately, even if the character has changed since the beginning. Since it's been a gradual change, it's been something the player can work through. It becomes more cathartic for everyone involved in the process. The players are able, through a character, to say things to a hurting friend they may not be able to in real life. One character may need to express strong negative emotions, allowing the player to do so in a controlled, safe environment. Conversely, the character may cheer the player up by achieving something he was not able to do before, or perhaps he has a heartache that allows his player to experience the deep pathos of a good story. When the outcome is known, this is nearly impossible. The character-based route also offers one other advantage: complete flexibility. If players do not plan three weeks ahead of time, then there is still room and space for a rich, fulfilling role play when one of the main players is suddenly, inexplicably absent from the game. This is not to say that no planning is required. However, a game flourishes best when there is a general idea of where the plot is going, but grand, gaping holes in the specifics of who does what, and exactly how it gets done (or even when it gets done).

When a player gets too attached to the plot, rather than the characters, she will feel extremely out of control when things don't go as they were planned to. If the characters are the focus, then she can become quite attached to them without breaking that nearly-visible fourth wall between the story and the players. We can laugh, cry, yell, or dance with our characters, but when we plan their lives out to the moment, we cannot separate ourselves from them, and we will, of a certainty, experience disappointment.

This applies also to single-author stories. The way to achieve the best mixture of pathos, plot and personality is to get to know your characters. Often, many writers may begin writing with known characters, either those of already published works, or characters based heavily on people they know, like family members. The reason this happens is because they know those characters best. They can write their reactions easily. When they begin to create their own characters completely, they often borrow pieces from other places. This is often done subconsciously, and is a good thing. Without some relation to something familiar, the reader will show no interest, because it is too foreign. Even if those things are single traits, the reader can identify either with a clear, “Oh, I'm like that,” or the equally common, “I know a guy who does that...” Such identification is a healthy response to the story. The author, like the role player, will find that her characters will react in unexpected ways. She will be able to walk from Point A to Point B and stumble upon something beautiful between. Perhaps it is a response to the clearly designated plot points, perhaps it is a subplot that appears because of an offhanded remark. If the scenes are mapped out too much, that beauty may not appear.

That beauty is the soul of my creativity. I write, cooperatively and singly, because I need to. There are often emotions and feelings inside my head that I cannot express any other way than to put fingers to keyboard. I see a scene from a show, or read a scene in a book, and I am moved. I hear music, or see something outside, and I feel strongly. Life acts upon me, and I need to react. I must express it somehow. Sometimes, that ends up with a plot involved, sometimes, it's merely a conversation or poetry. In my specific instance, when I get to know a character well enough, I will hear him in my head explaining how he will react to this situation. It's not a mystical experience, it is more like a movie playing in my head in which my character is the star.

I will not say that a plot-based story or role play cannot succeed, or cannot fill the needs of a player or reader, however, for me and many others, it is indeed the much tougher path.

*There is always an element of 'fantasy' in the role play, which is the reason why we do it in the first place. However, like in a story, we are drawn to the characters, the setting, THEN the plot. If we don't believe that the characters are worth following, we won't give a damn what happens to them.

Random update because I'm bored

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 07:40:59 GMT

So, I've been feeling a little out of things, and I came to the realization why: I semi-consciously pulled myself out of communities because I didn't have time to invest in them. however, I realized that I was gettin a lot of my adult socialization from those communities, even if it was in tiny doses at a time. Between us all being sick for six weeks and getting back into the swing of things as far as homeschooling goes, I lost my rhythm.

Trying to find it again is interesting, considering the fact that things changed (as they are wont to do) and people have changed availability and how to find them. Also, because of past experience, I am loathe to go too far from familiar pastures to find them for fear I'll be accused of stalking. (Stupid, I know, but it has happened)

I have also found a couple new fandom because of friends, and don't know who of my other fandom friends are even watching closely enough to know/care.

(This sounds a lot more l like complaining than I intended, but that seems to happen at times, especially here. )

Anyway, my two more recent fandoms are "Sherlock" and "Bones". I started watching the latter when my best friend mentioned how much the main character reminded her of herself. I watched, and damn if she wasn't right :-) I sat and watched the whole thing in short order and loved it. Not sure I'd write fic for it yet, but that's mainly because I haven't been writing much at all. Other than a couple NCIS Episode Tags, I haven't put pen to paper much.

The other thing I'm doing this year that seems to take up time is homeschooling the kids. I'm only doing three things or so a day with them, but they're getting it, and that's the important thing to me.I'm not using a set curriculum, so that means more work for me, but I do like having that control over exactly what they're learning. I'm proud of them; they're smart little boogers. We'll probably have to keep going for at least part of the summer to make up the days we missed by being sick. One of the few requirements my state puts on homeschooling parents it's that we teach them 180 days every year. I went ahead and announced that we'd be doing it again next year, but I can change that fairly easily if the situation changes again. Anyway, here yea go, have an update. You know you've always wanted one.

A first collaborative story: ThingLit

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 04:47:47 GMT

DH found a board that is used with a LeapFrog Tag pen. We don't have one of those. However, we bought the board anyway. The reason we bought the board was that it had rows of adjectives, adverbial phrases, nouns and verbs with which to make sentences. My children have taken to this like they take to sugary substances, that is to say, extremely well. Here is their first collaborative story (with a little bit of editing and editorial compromise from Mom).

First, the grumpy princess dreams at the castle. Then, a funny brother sings at the castle. Then, the pig monster smells in the Princess' bedroom. Then, the grumpy princess dances with jumping in the room. Then! The pig monster tries to scare the princess. Finally, the funny brother kills the pig monster. All was well. The end.

This is what I'm talking about

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 21:57:21 GMT

http://pjmedia.com/blog/is-the-rights-lack-of-introspection-holding-it-back/?utm_source=feedly

I had posted an entry a while ago about the GOP and the election. This guy sums up what I've been saying: It's not even the specific issues. It's the attitude of the people that run the party. If we saw that attitude anywhere, we'd shoot it down. But apparently, it's okay in electing the person who will be our executive for the next four years? I'd go a step farther than he does. I'd blame that attitude for what we don't like in this administration. Why? Because the attempt we made was tainted and hurt and ... I'd even say 'emasculated' by this attitude. The guy I would have liked to see take the seat was run out of office because the media got a hold of something in his past. True or not ... I'm not going there. I don't think it was, but the point I'm making is that we've elected men with worse histories. We have. He got no support because his ideas went against what fit in the little box. By the end, we were voting for Romney because he was the one that seemed to fit the concept of the box, not because he was the most popular candidate.

I dunno. I'm ranting. My main point is... article, see it? I agree. I agree that we should take a look at what works in our society and go from there. Not in a 'compromise my values' way, but in a 'oh, maybe that's not the same issue we thought it was 40 years ago' way.

Motherbrain: Isn't it enough?

Wed, 07 Nov 2012 07:00:48 GMT

So, the candidate I voted for lost. I am ambivalent about that. Not because I wasn't sure who I wanted to win, but because the GOP is cureently losing touch with many of us who actually do want a more conservative government. However, we lose out in ALL the ways, unless we want to vote for someone who is very unlikely to win (an independent candidate has not won a presidential election ... for a very long time, if ever).

In many conservative circles, the meaning of this election has been pushed around, discussed, bandied about, etc. One concensus many came to was that if Romney lost this election, after we all got together and pushed behind his campaign, then maybe the GOP has lost touch and needs to change or die. I totally agree.

Personally, as I have said, I am fiscally, extremely conservative. I don't want the government to run less efficiently than I'm allowed to run my household. I think there should be no deficit, and we should work toward eliminating the debt. I feel very strongly about this. This is a value the GOP have held, at least in words, and the largest part of the reason I vote red.

However, socially, I'm more moderate, even Libertarian in my views. I think the government has no business in things that are mine, and that covers a lot. So, when my GOP friends go on about social issues, I smile and nod my head, then turn and purse my lips. Not because I don't think they have a point about the evils of some of the things, but because it's not the government's job to do these things. Not regulation, not payment for, not deciding who can and can't, etc.

So, I am disappointed that the candidate that I voted for didn't win (at least in that race. Our local sheriff's race, our candidate won). However, I think the party needs to draw a message from it. Many people my age (and younger for sure) vote liberal or libertarian because they can't support the dichotomy that says "we want to limit how much we spend, but we want to create more regulations on social behaviors that require a lot more monitoring and enforcement." The logic doesn't pan out. It never does. If the GOP doesn't learn that, they will no longer be the Grand Old Party; we'll consign that moniker to the other guys and send them the way of the Whigs. (Who are the Whigs, you ask? Exactly my point.)

Motherbrain: Check your privilege

Wed, 24 Oct 2012 10:10:51 GMT

I am on Tumblr, though not as commonly recently as I had been for a while. Today on another site, I was reminded of something they say often on Tumblr. I will preface my post with two things: firstly, I understand their point. I get what they're trying to say. They're trying to say that often, in many parts of our country, things are radically different for someone who is different in specific ways. And that's true. Not universally, but in places, it's true. Secondly, this may offend some people, but it is not intended to offend. It's my rant about what "privilege" really means.

Fifteen years ago (and yes, I had to stop and blink at that when I counted it up), when I was twenty-one, I went to West Africa for four weeks. It was extremely difficult for me as a single woman, because that part of the continent is primarily Muslim, and I didn't have a family member who would take on the role a brother or father would in their culture. We slept on floors, used toilets which were basically holes in the ground, drank bottled or purified water, and ate food very different from what we were used to. We had no telephones, no music players, or anything like that. However, we were the lucky ones. We were ferried from place to place, we always had something over our heads when we slept, we could pay for food, we could pay for a guide, we could pay for trinkets to take home to our families. If I as a woman wore pants (which I did not), the worst that would happen to me would be people stepping away from me, mentally labeling me as a woman of loose morals. I was the privileged one.

R linked me to an article a while back about a photographer in China who was doing a very interesting series of photographs. He was taking pictures of families outside their houses, surrounded by pretty much everything they owned. I stared at those pictures. If we did that, there would be boxes of clothes that didn't fit, books we haven't read in years, appliances that no longer worked, etc. It would take us forever to get the stuff out into the yard, and there probably would not be room for it. However, most of these families stood there proudly, surrounded by their bed, their table, their precious things, perhaps one computer, and the few things they had. It probably took them less than half a day to get everything outside with appropriate help for lifting, and you could easily see their houses behind them, and the grass beneath them. One family's yard was covered in yellow. R pointed out to me that it was ears of corn. The family wanted to show off that they had enough corn to live through the winter, so they were extremely rich. I was shattered. I complain about what I eat. I whine when I don't get exactly the kind of dishsoap or laundry detergent I want. Or when my favorite sugary drink isn't in stock.

I often forget what it meant to be so poor we lived on the 'payments' clients would give my father, which usually consisted of a half a side of beef, a few chickens, free rights to pick their berry bushes this season, or whatever they could offer. I often forget what it meant to have to can or dry food or make huge batches of pasta or breads at a time, because that's when the food was available. Or what it meant to limit any kind of entertainment to what we could invent, because our little television got basic channels, but nothing appropriate for children was on. And even as poor as my family was, we lived in a place where no one fussed at Dad for having such extremely strange beliefs politically or religiously. I went to school for sixteen years. I learned to read. I learned to think. I learned to frame my arguments in a good way. I learned history from a biased viewpoint, but I was allowed to find any other viewpoint I possibly could find and read it. In fact, in many cases, I was encouraged to do so. My father owned the guns he needed to hunt for meat (yes, it still happens, and yes, we needed to do so to eat, many winters).

I could go into a lot more, but I won't. There are several reasons that I am a very privileged person. However, none of these reasons is specifically because of my race, my gender, or my religion. I am a Christian, a white woman. In my state, non-Hispanics are now numerically a smaller percentage of the population than Hispanics. That's fine. However, when it costs my husband a promotion, or us the opportunity to get something like a small business loan or help in the time of need (all of which have happened to us personally), then it beocmes an issue.

I am a Christian. I am privileged in that a lot of the tenets of my religion are built into this society. However, as Christians, my children are not allowed to wear symbols of their faith or take any kind of religious paraphenalia into the school with them. Many workplaces frown on and actively pressure people to steer clear of symbols and books of our faith. This is not always the case with others. I won't complain more about this, but if you notice, there can often be an interesting comparison when looked at objectively.

I am a woman. The main privilege I've got now as a woman, both socially and personally as I see it, is the fact that I am also a mother. I am elligible for all sorts of bonuses and things because I've had babies and am rearing them. I have mixed feelings on that, but again, not the point. I like to say that my children are some of the smartest, most polite, and best looking kids around. I know I am extremely biased. If I'm not biased in their favor, though, who will be? It's just my role in their lives. I'm extremely proud of them, and they make me smile. Being a mother is a huge privilege.

Again, I say, I understand what these people are saying. However, their experience is far from universal, and in some cases, the pendulum starts to swing the other way, which helps no one. I have to use the allusion that comes to mind: take the log out of your own eye before trying to get the tiny speck of dust out of somone else's eye. Every person needs to check her own privilege and spend her time doing what she can to help those who are less privileged in any way. That's the only way it will work.

Devious Journal Entry

Tue, 18 Sep 2012 07:33:32 GMT

Marks On My Skin by ~thecookiemomma on deviantART

Meme

Sat, 01 Sep 2012 05:44:44 GMT

Because hearing about my life right now might squick some of you out... (TL;dr=teeth issues. Maybe resolution, maybe more dental fun. Tune in when the antibotics are done) ... have a meme!

Pick a number from the list and I'll answer it in the comments.

1 - Your current OTP
2 - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind
3 - A pairing you have never liked and probably never will
4 - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t
5 - Have you added anything stupid/cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what
6 - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom
7 - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in it?
8 - Do you prefer characters from real action series or anime series
9 - Has the internet caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?
10 - Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr your social network sites
11 - How do you feel about the other people in your current fandom
12 - Your favorite fanartist/author gives you one request, what do you ask for
13 - Your favorite fanart or fanartist
14 - Your favorite fanfiction or fanauthor
15 - Choose a song at random, which OTP does it remind you of
16 - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)
17 - A ship you’ve abandoned and why
18 - A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships
19 - Show us an example of your personal headcanon
20 - Do you remember what your first fanwork was?
21 - Self-rec: What's your favorite fanwork you've created?
22 - Are you one of those fans who can’t watch anything without shipping?
23 - 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms
24 - 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms
25 - A fandom you’re in but have no ships from
26 - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go

Thoughts

Mon, 20 Aug 2012 14:11:01 GMT

This will get long and rambly, probably, so I'll stick it under a cut.

The kids have been going to the school they go to since Thing One was in Kindergarten. I love the school. I love the teachers. They're perfect for my kids. I love that they can challenge my kids and make them think, make them excel. No other school in the city would be able to do this, and definitely not the one they'd go to if I sent them to the local public school. The drawback, the downside, as most of you know, is that they do not bus. I can understand why, from a purely logistical viewpoint, but since the local transit refuses to carry children to school and the taxi is cost-prohibitive, I am often SOL.

I have been asked why I don't put them in the school they can walk to. I am not bragging when I say my children are pretty damn intelligent. Unfortunately, as a side effect of growing up in a home with intelligent parents, they don't suffer fools gladly. The school nearby is a wonderful school that deals excellently and gently with bringing the slower kids along, helping them through. They don't do as well at challenging the exceptional child, though. So, I'm stuck between asking for rides and home schooling them, which I have considered very strongly to the point that R and I were discussing curriculae.

They started back at school last Monday. Last Saturday night, we had a friend (a new friend to me) offer to take them in the mornings, and another friend offer to pick them up. Last minute. I was relieved, and felt like my struggle was over, at least for the moment. Then, Sunday, this friend got a call that a family member had died and she had to go out of state for the funeral. I can understand that. I do not begrudge that. So, I called up a couple friends and asked them to pinch-hit. They did so with serious grace.

We figured our friend would be gone for the week. So, near the end of the week, my husband started texting her again to find out what was going on, if she was expecting to be home... Just so we'd be aware and able to make plans. We haven't heard back.

I have experienced, before, where my eyesight, or lack thereof, has cost me friendships. It's a weird feeling: because I have these eyes, I need something that I can't get elsewhere, and when I ask for it (though I hate asking so much), I have lost friends. Mostly, I think it's because they misunderstood my intentions. One, I think, thought that I was interested in him (way before I met R), and I didn't want to tell him otherwise, because -- AWKWARD (as my kids say). Another thought I was stalking her, because when we did contact her, there was no response, and we were young and foolish, and just kept trying. That time, it was more out of a need for human companionship than 'rides', but it extrapolates (I can't get to all the normal meeting places / adult 'hangouts' if I don't drive, especially if I'm broke, which I was at that time).

Anyway, all this to say that I worry it's happening again. A friend offered to help in 'emergencies', and 'emergencies' keep happening. Because I can't find someone to do it regularly, I'm having to rely on these people who've said "once in a while", and I don't want to destroy the friendship.

As I said, I hate asking. I have realized lately that part of that is because of what I've heard from family and friends, I think that having this 'disability' is my fault somehow. I don't drive because I'm lazy, some have said. Sometimes, it's not said, but implied. "You don't apply yourself enough, don't stretch enough, don't plan ahead enough, so this is why you get into these kinds of situations." No. It's not. I get into 'these kinds of situations' because I can't fucking see. I walk into the walls because I misjudge depth. I will probably never be able to drive and that's probably a good thing for everyone on the road. I am just now realizing at 36 years old that I do have to fight to do what I need to, but that the eyesight itself is not inherently my fault. I did not try to have the infant epilepsy that triggered the need for the Phenobarb (at 6 wks old) that caused my nystagmus (near as we can figure). It just is.

Now, it's also nice to be dealing with people who understand that -- who have helped in situations with other situations that are worse, or at least more stressful. But I still have this niggling worry that I'm using up some sort of limited resource and at some point they'll say, "Grow up, kid, take care of it yourself. It's your responsibility, after all." I likened it to Jane among the Mother Trees (for Ender fans). She didn't want to take too much from any one tree. She found them inherently deep, but didn't want to take too much from one place lest she destroy them. Scares the shit out of me some days. I hate depending on others, but I have to. It makes me a better person, but between the fear of losing those 'others' and the annoyance at being needy, I get extremely tired. It wears a person out.

Thing is, I'll keep doing it, because my kids are definitely worth it.

Devious Journal Entry

Fri, 13 Jul 2012 08:35:57 GMT

Skin Hunger by ~thecookiemomma on deviantART

Male Rain

Fri, 06 Jul 2012 00:17:33 GMT

Motherbrain: Legacy

Wed, 04 Jul 2012 05:54:42 GMT

I am not the Shepherd here. Don't walk in my footsteps, or follow my lead. I veer off to side patches as much as anyone else. Don't put my name, or the names of mine in any place of honor to etch into walls, seep into the stone, color the sky. I am not Leader. I am not even Shepherd-son here. Even if I was, I wouldn't want that. I wouldn't want the shape of the place to look like me in any way. Make it look like the rocks around us -- the river running past us -- the sky above us. Remind us of the worlds around us, the dreams resounding in us, the needs echoing from us, or the welcome of the Maker for us. Don't make me into a hero or a king. I am a dreamer, a seeker, a walker-beside-you. Spend the value on things that matter. My legacy is already present. He grins at me, astonished when I say something unexpected. She giggles in delight when I laugh at her joke. They intone prayers and songs with me in the night hours before sliding softly into dreams. This is my legacy. Here is where I etch my name. Nowhere else. Do not extol me, for I do not want it.

Motherbrain: The Power of Motherhood (Poetic Prose)

Fri, 29 Jun 2012 11:25:24 GMT

The power of motherhood lies in deep, quiet things, in moments of silence and whispers of the deep secrets, much like those buried in the earth: treasures everpresent only uncovered in times of bright exposure to the sharp sunlight of the sky. Power exudes from milk-laden breasts, from full, rounded bellies carrying wriggling, squirming life from place to place. Mother draws her children back to herself, people jumping on a round, full planet, unable to evade gravity despite wish, attempt, or need. Her children orbit around her like little moons, or follow her like imprinted fowl. They wander hither and yon, but they always seem to return, looking for the soft whispers of comfort, the careful expressions of wisdom, the providence expressed in wild words and flailing gestures.

All is not sunshine and roses, moon and starlight. The Earth, the Mother First, carries deep, dark, wet caverns, filled with painful, smelly things.  There are familiar nights consisting of caring and wishing and hoping, pressing beyond self to assure survival, victory, well-being. Tears drip like water from ancient formations, shaping and carving into the basic psyche, expecting nothing in return for time or effort spent -- nothing beyond excellence, awareness, or perseverance.

The treasures do not solely belong to the next generation. She treasures small things: rocks and string, kisses and smiles, laughter, wonder, understanding.   Fierce pride and deep worry war within her, her own fully cognizant of her variable moods. She strives to be as solid and there as Tera Firma, as soft and comforting as the blanket she pulls up to a chin, as wise as the women to whom she listened, even as she promised things would be different for those who belong to her.

There is a deep contentment in the quiet hours, of pondering how things may be, of contemplating dreams and plans, an expectation that the darkness may steal. For moments, strung together between terrors and tension, she loves so intensely and happily that she knows potential can become reality, dream will appear. Perhaps its shape may be of an order completely different than her imaginings, but she knows that the minds in her care will accomplish great things -- known to all, or perhaps only to one, to whom a crucial difference is made.

And the wheel, like the earth, turns.

Seven things Meme take 3

Sun, 27 May 2012 02:15:28 GMT

The way this works is if you want me to give you a personalized list of things to talk about, leave a comment indicating so. I'll give you some, and you can pass it along. lin71 gave me this list.

1. Family

I love my family. I get pretty protective of them, too. I've told people, "you can say what you like about me, but you start talking about my kid or my husband... it's on." Heh.

2. Writing

I love to write, too. I have a tendency to write in sporadic bursts. I am trying to discipline myself to write just a little each day, and use that to fuel my bursts when I get there, even if I don't get STORY done, I try to do setup, thinking through, plotting, that kind of thing. It seems to be working for my NFA WEE.

3. Favorite holiday destination

Two answers to this one: First, dream destination: We'd love to take our kids on a tour of Europe. We'd hit a lot of different places (avoiding most of France, sorry), but focusing mainly on the UK, Germany and Ireland. Where our families were from.

4. Favorite actor

Oh, wow. I really like Mark Harmon. But I don't know if I have an absolute favorite. I'll say MH, just because I like his work, he's pretty damn good looking, and he's as humble as can be. And, he's been married to the same woman for a gazillion years. Which is really awesome.

5. Faith

My faith -- Christianity, though a very hodgepodge version of it -- is pretty important to me. But I know it's important to me personally and that I won't make an impression on someone's head if I'm using a Bible to whack it with. So, I attempt to be instead of say. I've caught myself being less than I want to be, of course, but I keep coming back, so there's something there for me to see.

6. Best moment of the day

I think one of the best moments in the day, at least during school time, is when my kids are getting ready to go, and they each come up to me, hug me tightly, and give me a kiss. I love that best of all. :)

7. Best NCIS episode

My favorite NCIS episode is Bounce. I love the interplay between the team. I love the way Tony mans up, admits his mistake, and deals with it. I love Gibbs being talkative. I love Gibbs reassuring Tony. "McGee, say words." My favorite line ever.

Birthday!

Fri, 11 May 2012 04:19:08 GMT

Thank all of you for the good wishes, virtual hugs, virtual gifts, promises of fic, etc, today. It really helped. I did want to make a note about the virtual gifts. You all decked me out nicely. From ferneberga, I got a bright and cheery sunshine to walk under, from hinky_hippo, I got a lovely tinfoil hat to wear, and from josgotglock, I got a yummy chocolate cupcake. Very nice. :D

I've been very tired today. Part of it is the rain, I think, and part of it is that I didn't sleep at all last night and only got like four hours today. So, sleepy. However, since R is gone, I didn't have a lot to do today. So, a nice sleepy day was okay. :D

Seven Things, Redux

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 06:26:00 GMT

So, once again, if you're interested, leave me a comment saying so, and I'll give you seven questions to answer in your journal. Here are the ones magdarko gave me.

1. Your top five Gibbs/DiNozzo must-read fics

This is hard. I have a lot of must-read fics. However, the ones I keep coming back to are these. It might be cheating to use series as one, but deal with it. :D

* This is one I read every couple weeks. Figuring It Out series by kesterpan
* Box Steps Series by ksl
* Captain Oblivious by taylorgibbs
* Shallow Waters by yzba
* "Andy" by xanthestories.

There are so many amazing authors in this fandom / ship that I have a plethora of pearls to pontificate on ... (now I'm just being silly). But these are my favorite authors and their favorite stories of mine. I think. With Xanthe, it's hard for me to decide.

2. The book you keep going back to

So many.   So so many. Again, though, the one that comes to mind right now is Xenocide by Orson Scott Card.   It's packed full of philosophy, crazy characters (in some cases literally), and inventive thought. I was rereading Speaker before my reader went dead, and I realized how deeply Ender feels everything. He literally takes the weight of worlds on his shoulders. He has sort of a social, ruthless instinct that makes him act in cataclysmic ways (the literal meaning of huge change).

Other books I come back to a lot: The presidential years in Clancy's Ryanverse, Lawhead's Avalon, Zahn's Vision of the Future, and several others.

3. Your favourite Abby moment

I'm not sure specifically. I love watching her and Gibbs sign. It might be the one where they're communicating while she's in the office and he's on the outside. I don't even remember the episode.

4. A habit or hobby you dropped that you'd like to pick up again

Two. Playing piano and crocheting.

5. A place you visited that stayed with you

In 1998, I got to spend three weeks on the Shankhill Road staying with a church while we were on a mission trip to Belfast. We slept on the floor of a big warehouse type building. I loved Belfast. I loved the lively people and the history, the attempts my friends were making to bridge gaps, and the hospitality they expressed to relative strangers, though their lives weren't always roses. I want to go back and show my babies Belfast.

6. An item on your bucket list

That. I want to take my children to the UK, visit Germany and Ireland. Visit the lands of my ancestors, show them where their family (at least on my side) comes from.

7. The last movie you saw

Um, I'm not sure. I haven't watched a lot of movies lately.   I watch more tv episodes than movies. The family watched Iron Man the other night.

Motherbrain: The Bill of Rights (pt 1)

Sat, 21 Apr 2012 03:56:39 GMT

Two posts in two days! Don't fall over, guys.

There have been comments made by politicians lately about 'amending the bill of rights'. I am becoming less of a strict conservative as I age, but this is something every American must remember: The Bill of Rights is the core of the American system of government. The Constitution itself sets up the specific shape of our government, but it is the Bill of Rights that defines much of the practical application thereof.

For example:

We were explaining the first five amendments to our children, and just within those five amendments, there are these phrases:

I: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances. That one requires a full copy. Lots of important stuff there. The government cannot tell me to pray to the Flying Spaghetti Monster unless I really want to.   I can write what I feel I need to. I can say what I feel I need to. I can invite people to go to a baseball game without asking my feudal lord if I can.

II: right of the people to keep and bear Arms -- Regardless of what you feel about guns, for many years, this has kept many Americans safe. I was raised in the west where there is still often several miles between rural houses, and the first responders take over half an hour to get there if you're lucky and they're available. There are still many wild animals near these places. Hell, our mall just had a visit from a large mountain lion last week. Needless to say, this becomes less about man's inhumanity to man and more about keeping my baby safe.

III: No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house. The way this got explained to the Things is this: if we lived near one of the many military bases nearby, and they had the quarters break down, the housing officer can't come to my house and tell me how many soldiers I'm feeding, laundering and keeping warm (without recompense). Big stuff, folks. My house is mine.

IV:   unreasonable searches and seizures, ... probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized. If you've seen ANY crime drama, or dealt with courts at all, you know these are golden words. Our system is dependent on them, and with good reason.

V: ... Grand Jury...twice put in jeopardy of life or limb (double jeopardy), ... nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation. You have to be indicted for a crime. A judge with a chip on his shoulder is not enough. You can't be tried and tried and tried until the government gets the answer it likes for the same crime. You can't have your property seized without either you breaking the law, or getting paid a reasonable amount for it.

I'll do the other five tomorrow when we explain them to the kids. This is a good reminder for all of us. These words have held us for 235 years, and will continue to do so as long as we don't mess around with them. Our basic freedoms come with these words. They're intentionally vague.

I tell my children to be 'polite and kind.' I do not need to tell them to say 'thank you' precisely three seconds after they are given something. If they are being polite and kind, saying 'thank you' is part of it. We give broad directives to avoid having to change them every time the climate / leader / times change.

The Constitution and the Bill of Rights defiine the American system of government. Don't fuck with it. Thanks.

Motherbrain: Bullying and practicality

Fri, 20 Apr 2012 04:07:03 GMT

http://kdvr.com/2012/04/18/9-year-old-suspended-after-he-says-he-stood-up-to-a-bully/

My son is 9. This year, there has been a boy in his class who decided, for some odd reason (I think it had something to do with a bigger boy's influence), that my son was his 'mortal enemy.' For several weeks in a row, my son would come home with a bruise, an ache, or I think, even one time, there might have been bleeding. He would try to talk to him, to become his friend, only to be rebuffed and hurt. I have tried to teach him that the best way to conquer an enemy is to become his friend. I have tried to teach him the three steps of befriend, walk away, then call a teacher. Thus far, it's worked.

Let me fill you in on some background. When I was in school, for most of my school experience, I was clearly the 'strange one.' Early on, I was the girl whose small co-op home school had burned down. Then I was the 'weird American' (when I lived in Canada). Then, when I started the school I graduated from (small, Christian school I started in 4th grade), I was alternatively: the weird kid from Canada, the poor kid, the brainy one and the geek (yes, they are different). I say this not to get sympathy or retribution, but to point out that I know. If famous people can make an "It gets better" video for those individuals dealing with gender and sexual issues, I could make one for those who got ostracized and ignored, just for being different through economic differences, being smarter (and enjoying learning), and being clumsy. I don't have a lot of memories of my childhood; the ones I do remember are spending my favorite hours with books, crying on the curb at recess because I didn't have someone to play with, or had gotten forced away from the playground, or eventually, when I gave up, sitting in the back corner of the field, beyond the baseball diamond, using my scissors to poke holes in dandelion stems to make chains.

My husband's experience was slightly more hands-on. For various reasons, one of which was him moving around more than I did, he was actually beaten quite a bit. To protect himself, he took up martial arts.

All this to say that my son probably comes by it honestly, and that he has two parents who understand completely what he's going through.

This is a sticky situation, though. In theory, I agree that no child should hit another child. However, in practice, it doesn't seem to stop bullying. It may stop it getting physical, but it doesn't stop the stares, the comments, the brushes in the hallway, destruction of property, etc.

Some may say, "Oh, those children never learn." Oh, they learn just fine. They just learn the lessons we teach them through our actions much more quickly than the ones we speak out to them. If we're rude on the road, cussing other drivers, they will push past other children in the hallway, not caring about their safety. When someone inevitably gets hurt, they use foul language, because that's how it's done. When you come home from work talking about how you have scored a sweet deal from your friend, getting something for nothing at his expense, your kid hears that it's okay to prey upon the weak. If he can corner that kid, he can make him do his homework or take his lunch money. If Dad encourages competition between his children, favoring the 'winner', it teaches the kid that he can do anything as long as he is seen as the most important one, no matter what it takes. The list goes on. I'm not a perfect mother by any means at all. I do know, though, that they hear this stuff loud and clear, whether we want them to or not.

Bulllying is a cultural norm, unfortunately. I was told it was part of growing up. That there were times in my life when I would not be very popular at all in the eyes of my peers, and that those times would be cyclical and varied. I was told that 'popularity' didn't matter, because I was better than that, smarter than that, and didn't need the 'attagirl' of my friends when my family and church and others knew me for who I was and could give me the love and validation I needed. I am trying to teach my son some of this, but I hate that that's the case. I hate that I have to teach him that it's a normal thing. That every person experiences rejection and disapproval from somewhere. That people badmouth others to make themselves feel better. I don't mind telling him this, though: when you're bullied, you are the stronger one, because you do not stoop to their level. You must matter to them, because they do pay attention. It's never easy, never fun, but if you can trust that we love you and are proud of you no matter what, then you come out stronger.

My experience was painful, but it's a part of who I am. However, it is more painful to have to see your baby come home from school with a lump on his head, with a bruise, with a wrenched arm, and not be able to do anything but email the teacher and hope she isn't too busy or overworked to deal with it. I won't teach my child to hit back, but the temptation is pretty great.

No matter your age, folks, don't bully. Just don't.

Seven questions meme

Wed, 14 Mar 2012 00:13:03 GMT

Okay, kiddos, here's how this works: comment on this post, asking for seven questions to answer, and I'll ask them to you. Then, you post this in your own journal along with the answers. ferneberga asked me my seven, so

1)What was your favourite TV programme as a child and why?

Growing up, I loved watching Star Trek: The Next Generation. I have always had a fascination with computers, the future and science, and TNG mixed all those up in this utopia that was a nice escape for a 'braniac' like me. Also, it was on every afternoon at 4 or so, so it was part of our routine.

2)Would you have changed the NCIS Judgement Day episode in anyway and if so how or why not?

JD is one of those episodes I don't watch a lot. I don't like the Jenny years a whole lot. Mainly because the team was so fractured already and she liked to insinuate herself into things. Then there was the Jeanne arc and the Chip thing, which I don't really like much at all. However, that being said, I'm not sure Jenny's life could have ended any other way. I would probably have changed some of Tony's and Ziva's experiences, because they certainly felt responsible for her death, even though she tried to make sure they wouldn't. I don't know HOW I'd change it specifically; just that in my version,   Tony and Ziva would't have been there as 'escorts'. Or, if they were, they would have had a little more 'closure' than they did.

3)How many fandoms are you in and what attracted you to them?

Oh, wow. You asked, hon.
Narnia, Perelandra, LOTR: Read the books as a kid.
Star trek, for reasons in question 1.
Star Wars, Battletech, Pern, Alera, Erragon, Dungeons & Dragons, Ryanverse, Doctor Who, Firefly, Ender's Game (and maybe a couple more) because my husband loves them, and I get a chance to talk to him about them. Most of them, I have fallen in love with by now. However, I got started with them with his 'help'.
Dresden Files: I was bored, waiting for R to come home from work, and was watching the Sci-Fi Network
when this new show came on.   I watched because the actor is a serious hottie, frankly, and was hooked. When it was canceled after one season, I decided... there are books. I must read. As per usual, the books far outshone the tv series, and I decided it was my favorite series ever.
Harry Potter: Same as Dresden, though I didn't read for a while, because I was fighting my rearing which said, "witches shall burn!eleven etc. Went ahead and read, and found that I thought it was almost as ... allegorical as Lewis' stuff.
Stargate: I think we started watching it because the movie looked interesting, and it was MacGuyver in the series, man!
Andromeda: watched a little when I was watching sci-fi.
Farscape: started watching on the advice of a friend. Loved it.
NCIS: I was watching JAG (Love JAG, too, btw), and I saw MH come on in Ice Queen. I don't remember much about their two NCIS eps, except that it was MH whom I knew from Reasonable Doubts (Watched that because I'm a signer). I started watching NCIS when I could, and have since gotten ahold of every episode and watched them straight through.
Torchwood: I liked the Jack Harkness episodes on Doctor Who, and decided to watch it. I like the first two seasons best. Children of Earth was very difficult to watch, and I didn't watch series 4, because the one I did see creeped me out, and friends advised it only got worse.
Mass Effect: Friends dragged me into this game. Looking at you, Ace and Sci. :D I love it, though.
Hawaii Five-Oh:   I thought it looked interesting, and decided to watch it. I love the first season. Stopped about four into the second season, though. I think the episode in Korea jumped the shark, and sickened me. That coupled with the stories about how they treated veterans on the anniversary of Pearl Harbor Day turned me off completely. (Especially with a show dealing with SEALs. I mean, come on.)
The Sentinel / Magnificent 7 : these two are completely fandom's fault. I kept reading NCIS and Stargate crossovers with these fandoms, and liking the characters. So, I looked up the series and watched them. Loved them both.
There may be more, but these are the ones I read / write fic in or hide in their 'verses, or .... you get the picture.

4)What's your ideal day?

Wake up late, like after noon. Eat something. R is home. Spend time with him and the kids, either going to the zoo or to the playground, or maybe have some friends over to game. (or all of the above). Go out to eat for supper, then just spend the time quietly together on our computers until it's time for the kids to sleep. Then, spend time with R. Usually he goes to sleep first, so then, I'd come talk on the computer for a while to friends, then go to sleep.

5)If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?

I really like it here in the Southwest. I love the warmth and the friendliness here. Sometimes, it'd be really nice to live in a town with a better transportation system, like maybe Cruces, but I like NM, and like this town pretty well. I'd like to have a 'summer home' in Northern Ireland, though. I loved it there. I loved the people, the cool weather, and the scenery. And, in western US terms, it's not that far at all to other parts of the UK.   So, it'd be nice. :D

6)What is your best childhood memory?

I have a horrible long-term memory. I have to take pictures to remember anything. That's part of the reason I put all my kids' funny sayings on twitter and Tumblr, because without that, I would completely forget them. This way, I can go back and look and see what my kids said that was funny.   However, I do remember a few things. One of my favorites is my earliest memory. I had to have been tiny. I was sitting on my father's lap, small enough to fit my legs between his as he sat with his leg across the other. I looked down and saw the triangle shape, and remembered it. But the reason I love it so much is that I remember him just holding me. He might have even gone to sleep with me just sitting quietly in his arms. (He worked long hours, so when he was home, he tended to doze anywhere).

7)If you could live your life again, what would you change?

I would choose to trust R in his choice of marriage counselors. I was nervous about the people he wanted to talk to, and so we went with my pick. Partially because of that, some very difficult things happened, and it was one of the most painful times in my life.  Those moments might still have come, but they may have come a little more gently than they did.

Character Meme: Letters

Wed, 29 Feb 2012 21:47:24 GMT

1. Leave a comment to this post - specifically saying that you would like a letter.
2. I will give you a letter.
3. Post the names of five fictional characters whose names begin with that letter, and your thoughts on each. The characters can be from books, movies, or TV shows.

onlyonechoice gave me "D"

1. Daniel Jackson: I like TV Danny better than Movie Danny. I love the chemistry MS has with RDA, AT and CJ. He dies too many times, though. ;)

2. DiNozzo, Anthony: this might be cheating since I used a first name then a last name, but oh, well. Tony is 'crazy like a fox' to coin an old phrase. He's much more intelligent than he lets on, but the face of the silly schoolboy has gotten him far, so he'll use it. In the current season, I think he's shown more "Wise and pensive Tony" than we've seen thus far, and I really like it. :)

3. Doctor Who: The Time Lord from Gallifrey is a complete enigma. Which is a large part of his charm. He cares for everyone, but not TOO much; he is confident to the point of arrogance, almost (except in those rare moments when he's completely insecure); and he has literally a billion friends, yet is completely alone in the universe. I think my favorite episode ever is "The Doctor's Wife" which was written by Neil Gaiman. It carries so much canon in it, yet looks at crosswise while standing on its head (which NG is excellent at, I believe).

4. Dantius, Nassana: A minor character in ME, and ME2. I won't spoil, but she's a real piece of work. She's one of the few people who made me doubt my committment to the blue bar on this first playthrough.

5. Marty Deeks: He's as cute and playful as a puppy! But, like Tony, he wears his goofy on his sleeve. Underneath, there's an experienced chameleon (not as good as G, of course, but who is), and a damn good cop. (personal headcanon alert) He loves Kensi to distraction, but if she doesn't want him, he'll settle for watching her back and jibing at her for as long as he can.

Meme

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 07:04:44 GMT

Here's a little meme to see who's reading my posts. So, if you read this, leave me a one-word comment about your day that starts with the third letter of your LJ USERNAME. Only one word please. Then repost so I can leave a word for you. Don't just post a word and not copy - that's not as much fun!

Precious

Tue, 31 Jan 2012 06:26:44 GMT

In the desert,
Water is precious.

Every drop of rain that falls --
A tiny prism of beauty,
A gift from Heaven to the world --

Is something to be treasured.
Hoarded.
Shared.
Preserved.
Utilized.

We do not begrudge the earth her share:
  From her comes our food.
  Our clothes.
Our fuel.
Our life.

When water falls with wild and furious abandon
down around us,
We fear.

The deep canyons that set our high, majestic mountains
  Apart from the shifting sand
Were carved
And formed
By water.

However, those moments are rare.
Like unexpected changes
That bring new growth.

For

In the desert,
Water is precious.

Writer's Block: ONTD Games Giveaway

Sat, 28 Jan 2012 03:40:59 GMT

Which video game character would you like to have as your real-life BFF?

One random response will win a $60 Amazon gift card! [Full contest rules here.]

Don't forget to share your favorite gamer moments on ontdgames at 3 p.m. PST for Free For All Friday (FFAF).

View 1535 Answers

I'd really like to meet Rinoa Heartily from Final Fantasy VII. I think she's a cool person, having sort of rebelled against her parents and joined SeeD's cause.

The fiasco continues

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 00:40:07 GMT

Originally posted by electricdruid at The fiasco continues

ACTA in a Nutshell –

What is ACTA? ACTA is the Anti-Counterfeiting Trade Agreement. A new intellectual property enforcement treaty being negotiated by the United States, the European Community, Switzerland, and Japan, with Australia, the Republic of Korea, New Zealand, Mexico, Jordan, Morocco, Singapore, the United Arab Emirates, and Canada recently announcing that they will join in as well.

Why should you care about ACTA? Initial reports indicate that the treaty will have a very broad scope and will involve new tools targeting “Internet distribution and information technology.”

What is the goal of ACTA? Reportedly the goal is to create new legal standards of intellectual property enforcement, as well as increased international cooperation, an example of which would be an increase in information sharing between signatory countries’ law enforcement agencies.

Essential ACTA Resources -

Read more about ACTA here: ACTA Fact Sheet
Read the authentic version of the ACTA text as of 15 April 2011, as finalized by participating countries here: ACTA Finalized Text
Follow the history of the treaty’s formation here: ACTA history
Read letters from U.S. Senator Ron Wyden wherein he challenges the constitutionality of ACTA: Letter 1 | Letter 2 | Read the Administration’s Response to Wyden’s First Letter here: Response
Watch a short informative video on ACTA: ACTA Video
Watch a lulzy video on ACTA: Lulzy Video

Say NO to ACTA. It is essential to spread awareness and get the word out on ACTA.

Via Tumblr

PIPA/SOPA and Why You Should Care | Mitchell's Blog

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 11:19:30 GMT

PIPA/SOPA and Why You Should Care | Mitchell's Blog

Very good article on SOPA / PIPA.